HOW TO REMEMBER
I have read about Carnegies’ 6 principles. I have written about Carnegie’s 6 principles. The question is …will I remember them?
- Become interested in the person.
- Remember and use their name.
- Be a good listener.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important (Affirm or compliment).
I want to remember them, but how? When coaching my clients….whatever they want to remember to do; we create a strategy and accountability. So I said to myself,
“Self, I am going to remember these by using the acronym SINLOPIA.” Smile, Interested, Name, Listen, Other Person’s Interests, Affirmation. Do I want everyone to like me? Do I really care if everyone likes me in this world? No I do not. However, I want to be ready to apply the principles if I want to. And If I am going to be ready, I need to practise.
And yes, I took liberty to change the top two around so as to find it easier to remember. After all, the first thing I do in relating is to smile. I discovered in these last few weeks how intentional one has to be in order to remember to practise these principles. Otherwise, lost opportunities keep piling up. As I was booking my flight to Alberta, I reminded myself again to use these principles should I sit beside someone whom wished to converse.
EASIER SAID THAN DONE
A few days ago I got on my flight. I sat down beside a gentleman. Within 5 seconds he began to converse with me. I can do this, I thought to myself.
I smiled. I found it easy to smile at him. Secondly, however, it became more difficult as I applied the “become Interested” principle. I realized what a boring person he was. He never asked me anything about myself until we were landing. Becoming restless, I wanted to stretch, to twitch. I had to hold on to my patience as he waxed on his favourite subjects. I felt like I was going to go out of my mind!! Forcing myself to calm down, I asked more questions.
Thirdly, I have to admit, that I actually learned some rather good information which would be helpful to my life. Fourthly, I was able to affirm him because after listening to him talk nonstop for 1 hour, I felt I knew him quite well! He lit up as I complimented him on how he is empowering young men. I could tell it made him feel good.
All in all it was a good exercise. Did I feel I had to do it? No. If I had been exhausted I would have just closed my eyes and actually told him I had to catch a few winks.
TAKE THE CHALLENGE
Try it sometime. You might learn something helpful for yourself. You might learn how much you want to interrupt. It is a good discipline in being unselfish. It forces you to search for a compliment or something you can affirm someone in. You could make a difference in someone’s life.
S I N L O P I A
So…. Smile, (be) Interested, (remember to use the person’s) Name, Listen (don’t interrupt), (talk in terms of the) Other Person’s Interest, Affirm.
-Karen Moilliet February 26, 2020