Unlocking blocked goals can change your brain and change your life.
I can only imagine what single parents are going through right now with limited space and resources to help with their children. Their life is full of blocked goals.
When I had 2 or more children sick at the same time, and a husband working 12 hours a day or away, I remember having to make a decision. I had to accept the fact that I was going to be a full time nurse for a couple of days. Deciding to relax about all the other chores and deadlines was the best decision to make.
The above is an example of a blocked goal. When you can’t remove the block, look at how to go around, under, over or through.
I use to try and do our business bookkeeping with little children under my feet. It didn’t work. I became extremely frustrated. It wasn’t their fault that they needed me and that I couldn’t handle both responsibilities at the same time. So I asked my neighbor to take the children for a couple of hours every week. Later on we hired a bookkeeper. Consequently, unlocking that blocked goal.
Perhaps you are an employer with everything going wrong. There are truly blocked goals all around you. Right now for a season, you will have to be a problem solver or bring someone else in to do that, while you look after what only you can look after.
NEUROPLASTICITY: CHANGING THE BRAIN
Okay. So those are things that when the blocked goal raises its head, you can think about ahead of time and plan for. But what about the instant reflex that comes from a blocked goal? It comes from something deep inside and we don’t seem to have time to prepare for it and decide on a different activity?
I am drawn again to Droige’s book, The Brain That Changes Itself and other writings about neuroplasticity. I touched on this in one of my past articles. First of all let me explain the neuroplasticity term:
Neuro is for “neuron”, the nerve cells in our brains and nervous systems. Plastic is for “changeable”. Therefore, the brain’s ability to change its very structure with each different activity it performs, perfecting its circuits so that it is better suited to the task at hand, is called, Neuroplasticity. Training the brain, (training its wiring), can happen right up into our senior years (if severe dementia is not present). You might ask why would I want to do that?
Blocked goals cause frustration and anger. Disappointment and change can lead to fear and anxiety. We are certainly living in days of frustration, unwanted change and disappointment. Imagine If we could change the response of the brain to those frustrations and disappointments in our life…. we could then change our life. We can change the brain’s response (wiring and mapping) therefore changing our life.http://www.normandoidge.com/
CHANGING FRUSTRATION AND ANGER
Detecting frustration is the key. Frustration is the trigger for anger. Of course this is the struggle we have; logically and calmly recognizing that anger is rising. We actually can train ourselves to detect anger before we negatively respond (explode). It takes time. We need to intentionally focus on wanting to change. Frustration can turn to anger in a heartbeat. That is where we want to rewire the brain.The next time you feel frustration, recognize that you are feeling frustrated. Realize that this is a blocked goal. Identify the blocked goal. It is important to tell yourself that this could lead to anger if not checked. This checking takes a microsecond. Change the activity your are doing. Think about what you are capable of doing at that second. What do you have control of? Remember: You have control of nobody, only yourself.
We all have experienced blocked goals in relationships, in our workplace and trying to sleep. Take a moment and think about those times that you become frustrated and anxious. Recognize them as blocked goals. Now strategize upon some activity/disciplines that you can take to change your response. Here are some examples:
- When you are upset with a mate, take their hand and say you just need to take a minute to think, walk away, but always come back.
- Trouble with an employee or a mechanic job gone wrong? Take three big breaths before saying or doing anything.
- Waking up with anxiety? Identify that as a blocked goal of sleeping. Get up, make a cup of tea, read a book, go back to bed. Repeat.
These disciplines are the responses that change our brain thus changing our life for the better. If an activity taken, does not reward the unwanted response and is repeated enough times, the neurons in the brain will change and your responses will get easier to control. Your life will change.
CHANGE YOUR BRAIN. CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
The question that always arises is, “Do you want to change your habits?” Do you want to change an emotional or neuron response? Is it worth disciplining yourself to do the work to become a better person? Only you can answer that.
People who succeed are always the ones who apply their positive thinking and faith based thinking with action. Pay constant, effortful attention. Actively focusing on something besides the unwanted response over and over will change the brain and change your life. There is no success where there is no action.
-Karen Moilliet May 27, 2020